I've been ranting a lot on here. XD Oops. My bad.

Maan, this was such a crazy year; it was the year of transition for me. I'm no longer just some dawdling kid in high school anymore. I'm a dawdling kid-trying-to-be-an-adult in college now. Well, I attend an university, but whatever.

Michael Jackson, the beloved King of Pop, along with other several other celebrities/icons have died this year. What's up with that? It's scary how many of them have died in just months. Especially, Michael. I mean, he just about to make a comeback!

Speaking of celebrities-- crimany. Drugs and alcohol are amazing substances. Like, the whole VMA incident with Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift's speech. Was it funny? Hell yes. Was it right? No. But, I have to be real-- I didn't really know -who- Taylor Swift WAS until that event. I mean, I've heard that nauseous song over and over again at my job, but I didn't care to know who sung it. And then the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident. ...Holy shit. That was back in FEBRUARY, and it's still being talked about. I'm just goin' to say this. Chris was wrong for what he did. It is n e v e r okay to put for a man to put his hands on a woman. But that doesn't mean that it's okay for a woman to put her hands on a man either. I didn't buy into Rihanna's interview on the news. I don't believe that Chris just beat her senseless just because he was being accused of cheating. And from what I've heard, she hit him first. So, if she wants to advocate for domestic abuse, she needs to own up to her own faults as well. ...That's all I'm goin' to say on that. Jeez.

I still have finals to study for... and then after that, I can relax for a good while. Can't wait for Christmas as well as to get back to work with my stories. My past composition course has really enhanced my writing skills.

These shipping wars have GOT to stop. Seriously. Can't anyone have an opinion anymore without getting flamed for it? Jeez.

For example,

I support Ash/Misty, but I don't have a problem with May and Dawn. They're cool characters and all, but I don't go around bashing Advanceshippers and Pearlshippers. Like, I love the current OP, "High Touch", but I don't think it implements Pearlshipping. That's just my opinion though. So, why should I be attacked for that? :/

And it's not just Pokemon. It's just about every fandom. This topic is very old, I'm aware of that, but it's still like damn.

Fans these days are insane with all of these couplings...

Support what you want, but respect other people's opinions. Simple as that.

I'm so distressed, mad-- UGH! I don't fuck with drama, but some shit went down, that probably shouldn't have went down. Damn it...



Okay, for real?

It's driving me NUTS that I have to stay at home for another fucking year, or years, because we can't afford for me to live at an university. Yeah, I applied for scholarships and shit, but that didn't do much. One would think with parents as organized and anal as they are about money, that they would set aside fucking money for their damn kids to go to college. Call me a "teenager" for this, but I don't want to stay at home for college. All senior year, that was one of things I was looking forward to the most: getting the fuck out of my house. I don't want to spend another four years dealing with chores, and having to deal with their nagging. I don't want to spend another four years listening to my sister's petty high school drama shit. And I definitely don't want to spend another fucking four years in the same corrupt city I've been living in my whole life.

I acknowledge that I don't know everything, and that I'm not invincible. I've had a glimpse of the hardships of life, and accept the fact that I am a naive kid. You're yelling at us for a fucking piece of pie. So, I didn't know how to calculate taxes. I acknowledge that. You talked, I listened. I got it. So don't belittle me saying I don't know my fucking multiplication. What the fuck do you think I get paid to tutor these damn kids for? Picking their noses? I'm sick of you contradicting yourself saying you're going to do one thing one moment, and then next change your story. That shit is getting old. Cut that out.

Don't get it twisted. I'm very grateful for all that you have, and still am, doing for me. You go out there in the world, and fight for our family everyday. You encourage us to perform to the best of ability, and expect nothing less. You love us, and nurture us. Of course, that's what every mother should do. I respect you, and you respect me.

You say you want to keep things "real" with us. Well, why can't I keep things "real" with you? Why do you always like your being attacked or something? Have I ever cussed at you? Berated you? Hit you? You really expect that if you punch me in the face, I'm just going to let you do that? No. I'm going to hit you back. Why? You disrespected me, so I'm disrespecting you. That's some fucking bullshit.

We're both wrong in this stupid situation. I don't even know how we ended up fighting. I'll admit, I was on edge, and I should have controlled myself better. (Note: would a so-called "perfect" person acknowledge their faults?) I should not have caught such an attitude, and kept my troubles to myself. However, with some of the stuff you say, quit half-assing it. If you say something, you got to have to mean it. Don't say you're going to help me buy that $80 calculator, and then go around and say you pay for it all. And on top of that shit, make me apologize for calling you out on it. Don't tell me that I'm all set for going to an university that would require to move out of this house, allow me to go around telling people that I'm going there, when you knew all along that I wasn't going there.

I guess that's where it cut me deep. I had to go through the whole summer knowing that while I was about to embark on a new chapter in life, I was still stuck in the same setting. If I'm supposed to start over and be more independent, how can I possibly do that here? At home? I've tried to be positive about it. I got a full scholarship to a well-known university near by, and a little extra thousand cash from Financial Aid. On my own, I got my own job at the university's bookstore. My old mentor/teacher is even helping me to further myself with my college education. But, all of this while I still live at home. Listening to my friends as they tell me of all the shopping they've done for their dorms, and how they got their dorm and room mate assignments... it's sickening. That should of been me. Selfish of me, isn't it? Half of these people pretty much bullshitted their way through high school, and they get to go off to the experience the true college life? And I'm still stuck in fucking Detroit in this same fucking house?

I smile, and say that I'm happy for them. Because I am. When it comes down to it, hating isn't going to solve anything. You've got to go with flow of life, and let it take you wherever it does. That flow can be so hard to follow sometimes though. I rant and yell about how I want to get out of the house, yet I can never give a plausible reason. Why am I fighting for a cause so passionately, and yet I can barely back it up? I always charge into a fight with you confident that I am in right in my argument-- and yet as we argue, I notice the flaws in my position. You're right-- I don't know shit, and I need to shut the hell up and listen. I need to stop getting blinded by anger, and think before I speak. I'm such a logical, mature person right? So, why I am sitting up here fussing like a child?

You tell me to sit my black ass down, and to listen you. You say that you don't care how I feel about you, yet you say that you love me and that you're willing to talk when I'm ready. So why am I typing this shit instead of talking to you about it? Is it my pride? Am I really that stubborn? This is some bullshit.

Quit saying that I hate you or that I think that you're a terrible mother. 'Cause obviously your not. It's just as you said-- it's all hormones. Too many damn females in the house, and conflict is always present. I don't prefer my dad over you, because he damn sure has his faults as well. Just as I have mine. Just as my sister and brother have theirs. And just how you have yours. I never intentionally try to berate you or over talk you, as I recognize that you work hard enough for this family. But I'm a just a naive kid, who doesn't know shit, remember? It's not going to knocked into my head, until life, being the bitch that it is, slaps me upside them itself. Perhaps then will I get it?

You know that I was never good with saying "I love you." I'm not very keen on hugging and kissing, nor do I like talking a lot. I'm an introvert though, I can't help that. I have a hard time trusting people. But surely, I should be able to trust you guys right? You are my parents. No, no, my mind deceives me to put up a front to everyone. Family, friends, whoever. I don't have anything to hide, but I don't like to share.

But I care about you and respect you. Despite the scraps that we go through sometimes, we still hold that connection. I'm your oldest daughter, and you are my immediate female superior. Hell, my momma.

So, let's just put this shit aside. And move on. I'm willing to cut my BS if you are.

Michael Jackson, this afternoon, was pronounced dead. He suffered from cardiac arrest like around noon, and a couple of hours later, he's dead.

.
.
.

Dead.

I haven't felt this crushed since Aaliyah died back in 2001. And then after her was Left-Eye. Then Luther Vandross. Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes soon followed him. And now fucking Michael Jackson? What the hell?

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson. My family grew up to Michael Jackson. I remember spending hours on in, doing nothing all day, but jamming to my boy. I remember me and my friends trying to do the "Thriller" dance, and us singing along to "You Rock My World" and "Butterflies". I remember goin' to parties, and everytime a Michael Jackson beat hit the radio, EVERYBODY was up and dancing. No matter how tired we was from doin' the Stanky Leg or the Turbo Hustle.

Yeah, I know Michael wasn't the "perfect" person. So, he was pretty much the cash cow for tabloids nationwide. Hell, worldwide. Should such a image tarnish his blessed talent? No.

I know I probably shouldn't get so emotional over someone, realistically, I don't even know. That doesn't matter. Michael was a great inspiration to not only me, but to the world. His songs have moved me in a way that no other artist's have. It's almost as though I've lost a close friend, or dare I say, family member. I mean, even right now, I have people calling my phone crying that this man is dead. Hell, some are in such denial and shock, that their just brushing it off as a hoax. But it's real...

I mean, it's tough to swallow, but the world has to accept that Michael Jackson is gone. May he find peace wherever his soul takes him. The King of Pop and a legend on so many levels... you will be sorely missed, but never forgotten.

Rest in peace.

Yes, I'm alive. Alive and somewhat alive. Jeez... I know there's compromises to make when it comes to school and the internet... but I wasn't expecting to be absent this long. dA has changed so much since I was last on here like... a lot of months ago...?

As I've probably complained before, senior year has been I have been dealing with drama up the ass. I'm talking "Maury" ridiculous drama. XD And that has thus thrown me off my game as far as writing goes. A lot. But my last day of school is in 8 days. EIGHT MORE (school)DAYS... and then another four (school) days till graduation. ...I think.

Let me cut down on my rambling...

Platinum is cool. I really liked the Torn World, but I'm not too crazy about the Battle Frontier. I'm ecstatic about the development of Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver. It's about damn time they did a remake of Gold/Silver!! I don't understand why some people don't like English dub of Bleach. I think it's pretty good. I LOVE TVXQ's new CD. I think that it's gonna take the public a long time before they get over Chris Brown hitting a girl. I heard Danger from "For the Love of Ray J" is getting her own show. WTF? And finally... why is hip hop/R&B filled with such stupid songs? Seriously, "Birthday Sex"? "Turn My Swag On"?

...I can't talk, I listen to those songs all the time. Well... "Turn My Swag On" anyway. The former song, eh...

Updates of my long forgotten stories coming soon...